Hello my lovelies! I have a question for you today. Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? What do you see yourself doing and becoming? Personally, my dream is to be a wife, mom, and and homemaker. In our girl-boss culture, that’s a radical statement to make. But I know I’m not the only girl who dreams of this. There are many traditional young ladies out there, and even some traditional young men who want a stay-at-home wife. (My brothers, for example.) 

If you want to be a homemaker, here are 7 tips for you.

1. Be honest about your dreams.

I didn’t always want to be a homemaker. As a teenager, I used to sketch grand dreams of the career I would have. I’d be a sought-after neurosurgeon, a well-heeled pharmacist, or a doctor. I still wanted to have a family, but I planned to send my kids to a good Christian school. But God was slowly doing a work in my heart. He was chipping away at the stubborn ideals I held so tightly. 

One day, a friend lent us some magazines that celebrated homemaking. These magazines had story after story of women who’d left their careers to come home full-time. These women weren’t flawless, but they had truly found peace in embracing their God-given role.

I struggled with the idea for quite a while. Could I really give up those dreams of prestigious careers? Could I stand up to societal pressure and follow in my mom’s footsteps as a homemaker?

But, one day in grade 11, everything changed for me. I realized that I really didn’t want to be a career woman. I would rather spend time reading stories to curly heads and making chocolate chip cookies with eggshell bits. Today, my dream is to be a stay-at-home mom and wife. And I’m preparing and praying towards that goal. 

Because I’m honest with myself about my dreams, I have the confidence to be honest with others, too. I’ve told girls, guys, coworkers, and relatives about my life goals. If you want to marry someone who wants a stay-at-home wife someday, be open about that.

2. Recognize the importance of a homemaker.

Why did I struggle to accept my deep-seated dream of homemaking? It was largely because our society demeans homemakers. They place more value on a pay cheque than a peaceful home. Young ladies are taught that they need to have a full-time career in order to fully use their gifts. And, when they do have children, they are discouraged from staying at home to raise them. 

I am grateful that my mom stayed home and raised me and my three younger siblings. She sacrificed not only a pay cheque but also her time, energy, and love. She poured hours and hours into educating us, mentoring us, and shaping our minds and hearts. My father supported her whole-heartedly and stood by her. I know that many young people didn’t have that, and I am so grateful for it.

According to God’s Word, godly women are called to be keepers at home. In Titus 2:4-5, Paul wrote, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

I know that it’s not possible for every woman to be a homemaker. Extenuating circumstances such as being a single parent, having a disabled spouse, etc., may force a woman to have a career outside the home. But I do think that homemaking is God’s ideal plan for most women. 

No matter what our culture teaches, I want to follow God’s Word. If He says that I should be a keeper at home, that’s exactly what I want to do.

3. Learn to cook.

Now, let’s move on to some practical tips. First, do you know how to cook? My brothers assure me that cooking is a *very* important skill for girls to have. After all, they love to eat! 😉

If you’ve never made anything more difficult than chocolate chip cookies, it’s time to start practicing. Ask your mom to let you cook dinner once or twice a week. It doesn’t have to be a five-course meal. (If you’re feeling ambitious, it can be, though.) Start with something simple like spaghetti or chicken. As you improve your skills, try more difficult things like making bread, scones and rolls. If your mom or grandma is a great cook, ask them to teach you some of their secrets.

The internet is full of resources for learning to cook and bake. Here are a few websites to get you started.

Budget Bytes: This website has a ton of delicious ethnic-inspired dishes. This woman is not great at baking but her main meals are awesome!

Joy of Baking: How-to videos for everything from cakes to pies to biscotti.

Also, if you are at a potluck and you eat something incredibly delicious, track down who made it. See if you can get the recipe from them! In her recipe bag, my mom has some recipes that are literally hand-written on a napkin. You can get some real recipe gems this way!

4. Practice the art of nesting. 

What is nesting, you may ask? Nesting typically refers to a pregnant lady getting ready for her baby’s arrival by cleaning, organizing, and decorating her home.

However, nesting isn’t just for pregnant ladies. If you want to be a homemaker someday, you should start practicing the art of nesting today.

Whether you live in an apartment, a college dorm, or your bedroom, make your space beautiful and restful. Search for decor ideas on Pinterest (or stalk Joanna Gaines’ IG!) Keep a weekly cleaning routine to maintain your space. If you love crafts and DIY projects, create some artwork for your room. 

I share a room with my sister, and here are some of the ways we’ve personalized our room.

• Scripture artwork prints on the walls (You can find printables on Etsy, such as here or here) 
• Floral garlands on the curtain rods 
• Vintage mirrors
• Candles 
• Floral bouquets

Because decor changes constantly, seek to create a space that you love. It’s totally okay if it wouldn’t make the cover of Better Homes & Gardens. Just make it a place of beauty and rest. 

Be faithful in the nest you have today, and you will be worthy of a bigger and better nest tomorrow. 

5. Do your homework.

If you’re dreaming of being a mother someday, now is the best time to study. Read books about child development, homeschooling, and how to raise children Biblically. Motherhood is a serious undertaking, and it will teach you how to depend on God’s grace. Being prepared with knowledge will make the journey easier.

I just finished reading Create a Better Brain Through Neuroplasticity: A Manual for Mamas by Debi Pearl. And I would HIGHLY recommend it! Based on the latest brain research, it teaches you how a child’s brain develops from infancy through youth. It has so many tips for how to help your children have strong, smart brains. And it discusses how you can change your own brain, overcome addictions, and develop new neural pathways. You can purchase it on Amazon.com or Amazon.ca.

Other books I recommend for learning about children/homeschooling/homemaking: 

The Big Book of Homeschooling (Debi Pearl) 

The Hidden Art of Homemaking (Edith Schaeffer)  

Preparing to Be a Help Meet (Debi Pearl)

To Train Up a Child (Michael and Debi Pearl)

Also, do a topical Bible study on raising children. The Bible has a lot to say about how to train up your children in God’s ways. Take lots of notes so you can refer back to them later.

6. Avoid having a judgmental, self-righteous attitude.

One of the most common faults of young Christian ladies is a self-righteous attitude. This attitude is critical, condeming, and cautious. It is always trying to assess other people and discern their faults. And, according to author Debi Pearl, it keeps otherwise lovely girls from getting married. 

I’ve definitely fallen prey to having this attitude before. But, by God’s grace, I’m learning to have an open, gracious attitude instead. I need to remember that it’s not my job to point out faults. I am only responsible before God for my behaviour—not yours.

As young ladies, we need to remember that we aren’t perfect. We are still growing in Christ. And so are the godly young men around us. We can’t expect them to have the maturity and wisdom of fifty-year-olds. After all, we aren’t that old and wise yet either. 

Instead of criticizing and looking for faults, we ought to build each other up. Learn to encourage others- first your own family, then friends and church family, and even strangers. Be a positive, uplifting person, and people will be drawn to you. 

7. Serve in your church and other ministries.

I hate to burst your bubble, but…if you want to marry a godly young man, you probably won’t find him hanging out at the mall. He’s probably too busy working to have a “chance but divinely ordained” meeting at Starbucks or Panera. Instead, you’ll find him at church on Sunday, Wednesday, and special meetings. You’ll find him teaching VBS, counselling at Bible camp, and chaperoning at youth retreats.

Disclaimer: Getting a godly spouse should not be your primary reason for serving Jesus. God can bring the right guy to you in His time. BUT, it’s often a lot easier if you’re in a place where there are godly guys. 

Be committed to serving Jesus with or without a boyfriend, and pray that God will bring the right guy into your life. He is still writing beautiful love stories!

Let’s Chat:

If you want to be a homemaker, be honest about your dreams. Be busy serving in your family; learn to cook; and keep your space beautiful. Seek to have an attitude of grace and kindness toward others. And read up on child raising and the skills you’ll need for homemaking. Do you dream of being a wife and homemaker someday, too? If so, which of these tips hit home for you? I’d love to hear in the comment section!

love,

Claudine 

Read more about feminine skills here:

6 Feminine Skills that Every Girl Should Practice

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