Last week, I posted part 1 of How to Be Best Friends with Your Siblings. You can read that post here. Even though I’m still growing and learning as a sister, I’m incredibly thankful for the strong friendships I have with my brothers and sister. With these posts, I want to encourage you to strengthen your friendship with your sibling(s).
Read on for 3 more tips on developing friendship with your siblings.
4. For a strong friendship, let go of the past.
When I look back on my childhood, I’ve done things to my siblings that were stupid. Embarrassing. Even hurtful.
But I’m so grateful that the blood of Christ has washed away those sins. In God’s eyes, I stand forgiven.
My siblings weren’t perfect either. They made mistakes. But how cruel would it be for me to remind them of their past? Since God has shown me such great mercy, shouldn’t I give the same mercy to my siblings?
I know that, sometimes, siblings get hurt. Instead of forgiving, they cling to that hurt and gradually poison their soul with bitterness. They can’t stand to see their brother or sister. They hate to see anything good happen to them. These people are trapped by their own bitterness.
One of the first verses my mom got us to memorize was Ephesians 4:32.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Forgiving our siblings is absolutely essential for a good friendship.
5. For a strong friendship, be humble.
Siblings see you at your most vulnerable—when you just rolled out of bed, when you’re hangry, or when you’re crying your eyes out. They probably know who you like and who likes you. They see you when you sweetly sing a special in church, but they also see you when you grumble about what’s for supper.
What happens when they criticize you? Do you try to defend yourself? Or do you respond humbly and thank them for caring? Pride will only alienate you from the ones you love. On the other hand, a humble response will earn their respect.
What happens when they ask why you’re crying? You can try to pretend you’re perfect and have it all together. You can shout, “Go away! I don’t want to see you!”
Or, you can be vulnerable enough to tell them. You can share your struggles and ask them to pray for you. This may seem impossible and scary, but, trust me, it’s not. Your siblings (most likely) love you more than you know. Being honest will only strengthen your friendship.
There’s no point in pretending that you’re Miss Perfect, because, sweetheart, you aren’t. None of us are!
6. Always have their back.
Recently, I was chatting with a friend. She pointed out my brother, who was talking to a couple girls. Laughingly, she asked, “He sure is a ladies’ man, isn’t he?”
If I had simply agreed, she could have told her family and friends, “Claudine says her brother is a ladies’ man.” That could not only cause pain but also damage my brother’s reputation. He is trying to be a godly man, and, in a few years, he will need to find a godly wife.
So, instead, I responded, “I don’t think I like the connotations of that term. He likes to talk to girls [as boys should], but I wouldn’t say he’s a ladies’ man.” I was protecting my brother’s reputation by saying that.
For me, it always raises a red flag when someone starts to criticize their brother and sister behind their back. I know that nobody’s perfect. But, of all people, your siblings SHOULD be loyal to you.
I love bragging about my siblings behind their back. I’ll tell you about their strengths, their good points, and how blessed I am to have them. But you don’t need to know their struggles and faults. You’re not their sister. I am.
Part of being a good brother or sister is having their back. God warns us in James 4:11, “Speak not evil one of another, brethren…” Can your siblings count on you to only speak good of them? Or are they worried about what story you might be telling when they see you laughing with a friend? Let’s be siblings that don’t speak evil of each other.
Blessed with the Best
God has given me two amazing brothers and a sweet sister, and I am so blessed to have their friendship. My siblings are there for me–whether I want to practice music or go for a hike or kick up my heels at an old fashioned square dance. They pray for me. They give me a hug when I’m feeling discouraged. And they love me!
It hasn’t always been this way, but I can honestly say that my siblings are my best friends. And I hope these simple tips will help you grow closer to your brothers and sisters, too.
If you missed Part 1 of this series, you can read it here: How to Be Best Friends with Your Siblings: Part 1.
Hello Claudine! I really enjoyed this mini series, and we enjoyed the old pictures, so cute and funny! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your heart and being a blessing to me, I appreciate it so much.
God bless you and your family! 🙂
Your friend, Deborah
Dear Deborah,
Thank you so much! You and your siblings are a perfect example of best friends who love each other. You are doing a fantastic job of being a sister- keep it up! 😀 We can’t wait to see you soon!
Love in Christ,
Claudine
Yay, I was so excited for this next post on sibling relationships! It’s so encouraging to see another gal who values sibling relationships so much! I have 11 sisters and 3 brothers – with the oldest in her 30’s and the youngest being 8. One of my favourite aspects of having strong sibling relationships is sharing great memories and working on projects together. What a privilege it is to have so many to be great friends and share life with! Thank-you for the great tips Claudine 🙂
<3 Kate
Dear Kate,
Thank you so much for your encouraging comments! I am definitely still learning and growing but the good news is that we all are! You are so blessed to have lots of siblings- I think it would be fun to have more! God bless you today!
love in Christ,
Claudine
This mini series was terrific, Claudine! Thank you so much for being such a shining light for Christian girls! As we travel, I have started dircecting other girls to this site so that they can share in these awesome lessons you have to share with us. Thanks again!
Awww, thank you so much for your encouragement, Sara! I am grateful that God has given me a way to encourage other girls. It’s been so fun getting to know my readers + God has definitely been helping me with this blog! May God continue to bless your family’s music ministry!
I appreciate you saying what you said about taking up for them because that’s very important! And it’s so encouraging for me when I’ve heard my siblings take up for me 😉 Someone actually just said something about one of my siblings yesterday, and it wasn’t overtly bad, it was just a little off, sorta like the comment you heard about your brother. And I knew it didn’t sound like them at all, and I found out later it wasn’t true. But I wish I had said a little something like “Oh really? That doesn’t sound like them so I’m a little surprised!” Hopefully I will know for next time!
Great point! Yes, it’s so important to support one another. The enemy would like nothing better than to discredit our families and our reputation. We need to stand strong! Thanks for sharing! <3
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Just read this and absolutely loved it! I was never super close to my siblings growing up, but have always wanted my children to be each other’s best friends. I tell them a lot that most friendships come and go, but your family is what will remain throughout the years, for better or for worse! Thanks for sharing those wonderful tips. It’s easy to see (even from the opposite side of the country and only through Instagram) that you guys are a close-knit family and I find that beautiful. 🙂
Awww, merci, mon amie! That’s exactly what my mom says, too. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m super thankful that I have my siblings. During this crisis, we’ve actually had a lot of fun together- hiking, playing and recording music, watching movies, and sitting around talking. Thanks for your sweet comment!! 🙂