Last week, I posted part 1 of How to Be Best Friends with Your Siblings. You can read that post here. Even though I’m still growing and learning as a sister, I’m incredibly thankful for the strong friendships I have with my brothers and sister. With these posts, I want to encourage you to strengthen your friendship with your sibling(s).
Read on for 3 more tips on developing friendship with your siblings.
4. For a strong friendship, let go of the past.
When I look back on my childhood, I’ve done things to my siblings that were stupid. Embarrassing. Even hurtful.
But I’m so grateful that the blood of Christ has washed away those sins. In God’s eyes, I stand forgiven.
My siblings weren’t perfect either. They made mistakes. But how cruel would it be for me to remind them of their past? Since God has shown me such great mercy, shouldn’t I give the same mercy to my siblings?
I know that, sometimes, siblings get hurt. Instead of forgiving, they cling to that hurt and gradually poison their soul with bitterness. They can’t stand to see their brother or sister. They hate to see anything good happen to them. These people are trapped by their own bitterness.
One of the first verses my mom got us to memorize was Ephesians 4:32.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Forgiving our siblings is absolutely essential for a good friendship.
5. For a strong friendship, be humble.
Siblings see you at your most vulnerable—when you just rolled out of bed, when you’re hangry, or when you’re crying your eyes out. They probably know who you like and who likes you. They see you when you sweetly sing a special in church, but they also see you when you grumble about what’s for supper.
What happens when they criticize you? Do you try to defend yourself? Or do you respond humbly and thank them for caring? Pride will only alienate you from the ones you love. On the other hand, a humble response will earn their respect.
What happens when they ask why you’re crying? You can try to pretend you’re perfect and have it all together. You can shout, “Go away! I don’t want to see you!”
Or, you can be vulnerable enough to tell them. You can share your struggles and ask them to pray for you. This may seem impossible and scary, but, trust me, it’s not. Your siblings (most likely) love you more than you know. Being honest will only strengthen your friendship.
There’s no point in pretending that you’re Miss Perfect, because, sweetheart, you aren’t. None of us are!
6. Always have their back.
Recently, I was chatting with a friend. She pointed out my brother, who was talking to a couple girls. Laughingly, she asked, “He sure is a ladies’ man, isn’t he?”
If I had simply agreed, she could have told her family and friends, “Claudine says her brother is a ladies’ man.” That could not only cause pain but also damage my brother’s reputation. He is trying to be a godly man, and, in a few years, he will need to find a godly wife.
So, instead, I responded, “I don’t think I like the connotations of that term. He likes to talk to girls [as boys should], but I wouldn’t say he’s a ladies’ man.” I was protecting my brother’s reputation by saying that.
For me, it always raises a red flag when someone starts to criticize their brother and sister behind their back. I know that nobody’s perfect. But, of all people, your siblings SHOULD be loyal to you.
I love bragging about my siblings behind their back. I’ll tell you about their strengths, their good points, and how blessed I am to have them. But you don’t need to know their struggles and faults. You’re not their sister. I am.
Part of being a good brother or sister is having their back. God warns us in James 4:11, “Speak not evil one of another, brethren…” Can your siblings count on you to only speak good of them? Or are they worried about what story you might be telling when they see you laughing with a friend? Let’s be siblings that don’t speak evil of each other.
Blessed with the Best
God has given me two amazing brothers and a sweet sister, and I am so blessed to have their friendship. My siblings are there for me–whether I want to practice music or go for a hike or kick up my heels at an old fashioned square dance. They pray for me. They give me a hug when I’m feeling discouraged. And they love me!
It hasn’t always been this way, but I can honestly say that my siblings are my best friends. And I hope these simple tips will help you grow closer to your brothers and sisters, too.
If you missed Part 1 of this series, you can read it here: How to Be Best Friends with Your Siblings: Part 1.