Hello my lovelies! All of us have experienced moments of frustration in our relationships. Whether family or friends, people aren’t perfect. And it’s easy to look across the white picket fence and compare our relationships to those next door. I feel incredibly blessed with my family and friends. But I still work on cultivating the one attitude that sweetens every relationship- gratitude.

If you’re struggling to get along with or even like your people, you need to learn gratitude.

The Mistake We All Tend to Make

Too often, we have a desire for someone to do something for us. And, if we’re not careful, this desire can morph into a “need” and then an expectation (You should!) Maybe you want your brother to help out with the chores. Or you assume that your mom would love to do your laundry for you! Then, if the person fails to do it, you get upset and punish them…with a bad attitude, a hurt expression, or a sigh of martyrdom.

Nobody cares. Nobody loves me. Poor me.

This is not a smart way to live.

The Wisdom of Low Expectations

As sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, we are born with a sin nature that naturally says, “Me first!” at every opportunity. (Read more about that here.) But, to have fruitful and sweet relationships, we need to lower our expectations.

Other people can’t make you happy. Or satisfied. Or complete.

Only Jesus can do that.

“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.”

Psalm 62:5

Yes, we should have high expectations of God. We should expect that He will keep His promises. That He will be our faithful Father and guide our steps. That He will never leave us or forsake us.

However, we should have low expectations of other people. We should be ready to forgive, to offer grace, and to overlook offences. Because Jesus has shown us so much grace, we should give grace to others.

When we lower our expectations of others, we can find real happiness and satisfaction in our relationships. Others don’t have to be perfect for us to be happy. (Neither do we.)

The Power of Gratitude

I love this excerpt from Elisabeth Elliot’s book Love Has a Price Tag, where she quoted her second husband.

A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.

Lars Gren

The closer you get to someone, the easier it is to see their flaws. And, while it is important to speak the truth in love and counsel one another, most of us tend to criticize too much and appreciate too little.

Instead of trying to “fix” your person, focus on their good qualities. What is praiseworthy, excellent, and positive in their life and character? Build them up with simple words of encouragement and gratitude. Make sure you give at least two compliments for every one criticism.

If you want to be happy in your relationships, don’t complain about what you don’t have. Instead, give thanks for all the blessings God has given you. Look for the silver lining in every cloud.

That brother who’s too tired to help out with extra chores? Maybe he’s been welding or sanding vehicles for 8 hours and his hands are sore. Praise his work ethic!

That parent who seems so strict about rules? They may have lain awake half the night worrying and praying for you. Be thankful that they love you enough to say no.

When you sow gratitude, kindness, and love into the lives of others, you will reap what you sow a thousand fold. And you will learn to be satisfied and content in your relationships, even if your people are not perfect. (You and I aren’t perfect, either!)

Let’s Chat about Gratitude:

When we choose to live with open hands, not expecting others to fulfil our every wish, life becomes so much happier and more relaxing. And, when we practice gratitude, we will be satisfied and content in our relationships. And they will be so much sweeter, too! Is gratitude something you need to work on in your relationships (or maybe one relationship)? Share your thoughts in the comments!