If you were to visit my house, you’d probably notice a few things about my siblings and I right away. We love to talk, we’re all about the food, and we’re incredibly close. We often finish each other’s sentences! My siblings are my best friends, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But maybe you don’t get along with your siblings very well. Maybe you’d like to work on your relationship, but you don’t know where to start. In this 2-part series, I’m going to share some of my favourite tips for building awesome relationships with your brothers and sisters.
Ready to get started? Here’s how to be best friends with your siblings (part 1).
1. To become best friends, don’t be their mama.
As the oldest of four, I’ve struggled with this. After all, Mama wasn’t always there to see my siblings’ mistakes. What would happen if nobody corrected them? They might grow up to be horrible human beings! If you looked up “nagging” in the dictionary, you might easily find a photo of twelve-year-old me there.
However, in my teens, a sweet missionary lady took me aside and gave me a gem of wisdom. She said, “You shouldn’t correct your brothers all the time. You need to keep things sweet with them. Let your mom take care of that.”
At first, I was offended. After all, I’d always been allowed to criticize and tattle on them. But I realized that she was right. My brothers already had a mom. And she was doing a fantastic job! My criticism and nagging wasn’t going to help them grow. It was only going to sour our relationship.
Honestly, I still mess up sometimes. But, with God’s help, I’ve tried to steer clear of criticizing them too much. And it’s definitely helped us become best friends!
2. To become best friends, do little acts of kindness.
When my brothers were little, they loved to save up their money for a trip to the candy store. They’d carefully select the most tempting bags of chips or chocolate bars they could find. Later, they’d sneak into our room and leave the treats on our dressers. They were showing their love in a little, ordinary, but oh so sweet way.
Often, my sister will put the kettle on and offer to make me a cup of tea. (The answer is always yes!) She’ll just ask, “Tea? What do you want in it?” I love being spoiled by her kindness!
One of my brothers is crazy about all things hobby farm. Occasionally, I’ll pick up a farming magazine for him at the grocery store. He will spend hours poring over those magazines and dreaming about the future.
Once in a while, I’ll stop by my brother’s workplace with a coffee. It only takes a few minutes, and it reminds him that I care!
Little acts of kindness will go a long way toward keeping your relationship sweet.
3. To become best friends, do hard things together.
For the past seven years, my siblings and I have worked at farmers’ markets. We’ve busked with Cape Breton fiddle and piano, sold cupcakes at Wild Flour Bakery, and grilled burritos at The Rusty Kicker.
If you visited a farmers’ market in our region, you’d probably see our smiling faces. But what you didn’t see were the hours of dishes, early mornings, and late nights. You didn’t see us putting on makeup in the van at 7 am. You couldn’t feel the fatigue of tired feet after a long day’s work. You didn’t understand the stress of competition, the anxiety over results, and our need to trust God.
However, you also didn’t hear the crazy laughter as we joked around in the kitchen. You didn’t hear us erupt into cheers after counting the results of our labour. You didn’t see the tender moments of siblings pitching in or making each other a cup of tea. And you missed our annual end-of-the-market-year party—complete with favourite movies, thankfulness, and tons of junk food!
The Greatest Gift of All
And, over the years, if you weren’t watching closely, you might have missed the most remarkable gift of all. It was the transformation of boys into men and girls into women. It was God’s hand shaping us into the people we are today.
We didn’t become best friends by sitting on the couch watching Netflix. We learned to trust, to sacrifice, and to love each other by doing hard things together. Besides markets, we’ve also done spelling bees, music, Bible clubs, and camp ministry together. These hard things have forged us together like nothing else could.
Maybe your family doesn’t have a business. Or maybe you aren’t sure what hard things you could do together. Ask God to show you what project you and your siblings could tackle together. It will strengthen your relationship enormously!
Let’s Chat:
How many siblings do you have? How would you describe your relationship with them? Best friends or not so much? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
And don’t forget to come back next week for Part 2 of this series!
For more lifestyle posts featuring my family, check out: Life with the Family Band: 2018 Christmas Concerts.
I have 3 siblings and I would consider us best friends but they often get mad at me when I get on to them about stuff when mom isn’t around , but I do try my best to do things with them even if it’s just jumping on the trampoline or riding the 4 wheeler!
Dear Gracie,
I’m so glad to hear you are good friends with your siblings! I know that sometimes it IS necessary to offer a gentle rebuke when Mom isn’t around. Just try to do it with a loving, meek spirit. Ask them to cooperate instead of scolding. I’m glad you do fun things together- that’s very important for becoming good friends! I have 3 younger siblings and we’ve grown a lot closer over the years. Keep up the great work!
Love in Christ,
Claudine
Thank-you Claudine for another great post! I LOVE your blog; and the tips are great! One thing my siblings and I spend a lot of time together on is our Family ranch, even now we’re in the thick of lambing season 😀 Also, I love your family pics, looks like you share great memories!
Dear Kate,
Thank you so much for reading + commenting on my posts; it is a huge encouragement! It’s awesome that you and your siblings can work together. Farm families seem so close! Yes, we’ve had a lot of wonderful memories together. It’s fun to look back and see how small everyone was. 🙂
Love in Christ,
Claudine
What great Biblical advice! I completely agree. I have a younger brother of my own by five years, so I can defiantly understand the temptation of wanting to mother and spoil them in good advice. You have another subscriber!
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment (and subscribing)! Yes, it’s definitely #oldestsiblingprobs! I’m sure you’re going to be an awesome mama someday, though! 🙂
God bless,
Claudine
Loved all of these points. You’re a good sister!! ☺️❤️
Awww, thank you so much, Katie! And thanks for following along!
Aww, you are your siblings have such a sweet relationship! I love that. And I loved seeing some of those old photos!
Thank you, Elizabeth! I feel pretty blessed to have them! 🙂
Hey Claudine!
I was so excited to find your site after not seeing you in forever! I know I’m a little late to comment but I just had to!!!!!!!
So, seriously, I have 10 siblings- all younger- ranging from ages 18 to 1. I too struggle with the urge to correct them when my parents don’t see. Claudine hit this right on! It really is hard to watch your siblings do something wrong without bossing them around. This was a hard pill for me to swallow, but I’ve been learning to leave things up to my parents and God! Im so thankful for the sound, biblical advice from another Christian young woman!
Another thing I appreciate about this site is that I personally know Claudine and her family and they truely do have the sweetest relationship. They are a wonderful example and a blessing to watch!
Miss you Claudine! We’ll have to email soon!
Dear Sara,
I know!! It’s been way too long! Thank you so much for your encouraging comments, too. You are a wonderful older sister, and I love how close you + your siblings are. I know it’s not always easy, but you’re doing a fantastic job! You’re going to be a fabulous momma someday!
Love you! Yes, I’ll email you soon!
Claudine
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