Hello lovelies! I am excited about today’s post because it is near and dear to my heart. I prayed for years for a godly husband, and I am so thrilled to be getting married this summer. But I have several dear single friends for whom I’m still praying for husbands. If you haven’t met your own Mr. Right yet, this post is filled with my best advice for you.

Here’s how to find a husband God’s way.

Develop a Biblical vision for a husband.

When I was a teenager, a young pastorʼs wife shared some priceless advice with me. When she was a young adult, she was counselled to search the Scriptures for descriptions of a godly man. She studied the  Bible and wrote a list of what a godly man looks like in his character and actions.

When God brought her future husband into her life and things started to unfold, she was able to look at her list and say, “Yes, this is a godly man.”

Contrary to popular belief, the Bible does not teach that God has one perfect spouse picked out for you, and that everyone else would be the wrong choice. The apostle Paul states the one requirement for “the right spouse.”

“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:39

“In the Lord,” means that a widow must marry a born-again Christian. Other than that, she is free to choose, “whom she will.”

However, I believe that God can arrange marriages for His obedient children who are seeking His direction. He can and does provide godly wives for godly men. This is clearly stated in two verses in Proverbs.

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

Proverbs 18:22

“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Proverbs 19:14

From these verses, we see that a godly man should be looking for a wife. And God will provide one for him if he is seeking God. He will fulfill His promise in Philippians 4:13, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

If you want to get married, study what the Bible says about godly men. And keep an open mind about who that man will be.

Stay busy serving God.

When Abraham’s servant found the perfect wife for Isaac, she wasn’t sitting at home doing her nails or catching up on the latest gossip. Instead, she was busy serving God in her everyday duties. She didn’t focus on finding a husband. She poured her energy into daily faithfulness.

While you wait for the husband God has for you, pour your heart into serving the Lord. First, love your family well. If you live at home, help out with chores. Cook dinner, clean the house, and go grocery shopping.

Second, find a ministry where you can serve, and do your absolute best in it. Perhaps you can teach Sunday School, start a kids Bible club, or disciple younger girls. Or maybe you can use your abilities in writing, photography, or music to honour God.

Don’t waste this season of free time and energy. Invest it into God’s kingdom, and you will not be sorry.

Expand your social circle.

I grew up in a small town on the East Coast of Canada. And, as much as I enjoy it here, I realized at a young age that I probably wouldn’t marry someone from my hometown (or even my province). Growing up, it was rare for me to have any guys in my age group in my home church. Expanding my social circle was an absolute necessity if I wanted to marry a godly man.

Thankfully, my parents made the sacrifices necessary to ensure that we attended Christian summer camps, retreats, and Bible conferences. At these events, we were able to meet other young men and women and get to know them. This helped us understand what we wanted in a future spouse. And, at one of these camps, I met my future husband.

If you aren’t interested in marrying anyone in your current social circle, then it is time to expand it. Go to a new Christian conference, retreat, or camp. Sign up for a missions trip where you don’t know anyone else. Accept invitations as much as possible. When you go to these events, focus on meeting new people. Even if you feel shy, make yourself go up to someone interesting and introduce yourself. He might turn out to be a great guy!

You never know when your future husband will be just around the corner. You won’t meet him by staying at home and watching your favorite period drama. So get out there and meet the man of your dreams!

Smile at every man you see.

Before you start shaking your head, let me make clarify. I’m NOT saying that you should smile flirtatiously, wink, and giggle whenever you see a man coming.

But, if you want to get married, you need to come across as warm, approachable, and friendly to men you haven’t met. The easiest way to signal this is with direct eye contact and a warm, genuine smile. If you do this, you increase your chances of actually talking to Mr. Right a thousandfold.

Unfortunately, a lot of sweet Christian girls have gotten out of the habit of smiling. Their resting face looks pouty, disinterested, or anxious. None of these are attractive looks.

When men in a wide variety of cultures were surveyed, the most attractive quality they listed in a woman was “happy, joyful, cheerful, and fun.”

If you smile at every man, no one can accuse you of being a flirt. Instead, they will think of you as a cheerful, warm young woman.

This specific piece of advice helped me attract my future husband, so I can confirm that it works very well. Try it today! You won’t be disappointed.

If you are interested in someone, treat him differently than other guys.

Now, after you have been smiling at everyone, you may notice one guy who stands out from the rest. If you are single and looking for someone, then it is time to signal your interest in him.

Guys can’t read your mind. If you want him to know that you’re interested, then smile at him more than you smile at other guys. If you see him on a regular basis, get in the habit of talking to him often. Start with small talk, and then ask questions about subjects that interest him.

If he’s really not getting the hint, you can always let his sister or mom or a close friend know. Once he hears that, he will either start avoiding you (if he’s not interested) or he might just get to know you better. Either way, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. Then you can let go of the idea and keep looking and praying.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen multiple examples of a girl who really liked a guy and become close friends with him, hoping for developments. But he saw her only as a sister in Christ, and he never seemed interested in more.

If you’ve been friends with a guy for a long time, and you like him, find a way to make your interest clear. If you discover that he sees you only as a friend, then you need to back off so there is space in your life for Mr. Right when he does appear. Don’t pour your time and energy into a guy who isn’t romantically interested in you. Instead, be patient, and wait for a guy who will be interested and pursue you intentionally.

Pray hard.

I’ve saved the best for last, because I truly believe that God cares about who we marry. He can make our paths cross with good men. And He can give us the wisdom to make a wise choice.

This won’t happen automatically. God expects us to pray for what we need and want.

“Ye have not, because ye ask not…”

James 4:2

Here are some prayer ideas to get you started. Every day, spend time praying for your future man. He needs your prayers more than you know.

• Pray that God would bring you a godly husband.
• Pray that he would be saved and serve God with his life.
• Pray for his health and safety.
• Pray for his career and calling.
• Pray for his relationships with family and friends.
• Pray that he would prepare to be a godly husband and father.
• Pray that he would have a heart for your future children.
• Pray that he would walk in purity and victory over sin.
• Pray that he would walk in the Spirit.
• Pray that he would be diligent and faithful in every responsibility.
• Pray that he would have excellent people skills.
• Pray that he would exercise and eat a healthy diet.

You can also find resources for praying for a husband and use those prayers for your future husband. For years, I have used a monthly prayer calendar designed for husbands. It’s now tattered, but it was sweet to be able to share it with my now-fiancé.

I am so grateful for the prayers I prayed for my future husband. God truly brought me a man who was far better than what I could have dreamed, imagined, or prayed. Pray boldly, girls! God is a prayer-hearing, prayer-answering God.

Let’s Chat:

Do you want to get married? If so, develop a Biblical vision for a husband. While you wait, stay busy serving God. Expand your social circle by attending events and making new friends. Smile at every man you meet. And pray boldly for your future man!