As women, we hold in our hands an exceptional power. It is the power to influence the men in our lives. Whether that’s your brother, husband, boyfriend, or a friend, you can either build him up or tear him down. You can bring either sunshine or rainclouds into his life. If he is a leader, your impact (for good or evil) is multiplied that much more. This power is not to be taken lightly. How can we use it wisely, for their good?
Keep reading for how to encourage men in your life.
1. Praise them.
Men have a fragile ego. It’s cliché but true. They doubt themselves and wonder if they’re good enough, if they measure up. (It’s similar to a woman asking, “Am I beautiful enough?” or “Do I look fat in this?”)
And, if you care about them, the answer is a resounding yes.
“Yes, you’re a good man.”
“Yes, I support you.”
“Yes, I’m so proud of you.”
When you notice good things in their lives, make sure you tell them about it.
Praise their character…patience, kindness, faithfulness.
Praise their skills…whether at work or at home.
Praise their personality…what makes them unique and special to you.
When you sincerely praise a man, you are showing your respect for him. And he will so appreciate it. To communicate love for a man, show your respect for him.
2. Ask them for help and advice.
In general, men are natural fixers. They like to attack a problem head-on and solve it. So, if you have a problem, ask them for help or advice.
Is your car acting up? Ask them to take a look at it.
Are you puzzled by something? Ask them to explain it to you.
Do you need help moving something heavy? Ask them to do it for you.
Now, here are some important tips.
- Do not be condescending.
- Do not try to motivate them with a guilt trip.
- Just ask them with a smile.
- Make sure you are very thankful when they do help you.
When you ask a man for help and you are genuinely thankful for his help, he will feel respected and valued.
3. Cook something tasty for them.
If you want to make a man happy, feed him. Bake him some chocolate chip cookies, or make his favourite meal for supper. Sometimes, if I’m going to make supper, I ask my brothers what they would like to have for supper. They usually have some great ideas! They especially like spaghetti, meatballs, and lasagna.
Develop your cooking skills, and get the men in your life to be quality taste testers. They will love it!
4. Praise them in public.
Your words are more powerful than you realize. When you brag on your brother, father, or husband before others, it’s a huge emotional boost for him.
But, if you criticize him before others, it will wound him more deeply than you know. Never correct him, interrupt him, or make fun of him before others. Show respect, and he will love you for it.
5. Fan their dreams.
Every man has dreams and aspirations for the future. But sometimes, he’s worried that he’ll get criticized and mocked for those dreams. He needs you to encourage him and fan his dreams.
When someone trusts you enough to share a dream with you, don’t be a dream killer.
Instead, fan his dream. Listen to his grand ideas (no matter how unrealistic they might sound). Don’t pour cold water on his fire. Tell him you believe in him, and you can’t wait to see how it turns out. And, of course, be sincere!
This is such a critical part of how to encourage men.
6. Accept them as they are.
Nobody is perfect, and the men in our lives aren’t either. The sooner we stop trying to change them, the happier everyone will be.
You might notice that your man has a problem with _______________. Should you march right up and give him some advice and 5 Bible verses to memorize about it? No, no, no.
Instead, pray that God will work in his heart. The Holy Spirit is a far better Teacher than you or me.
Resist the urge to treat a man like he’s your son. If you aren’t his mom, you aren’t his mom. Accept him and love him for who he is.
7. Respect them.
Although there are many different ways to show respect, it has to start with a heart attitude. Choose to respect the men in your life because God created them and they are valuable to Him. Then, notice their positive traits and praise them. This will help you respect them more.
Realize that it’s not easy to be a godly man. They bear the weight of responsibility and provision, and they are accountable to God as spiritual leaders. They fight battles that you and I will never face. We need to support and respect them.
For more ideas on how to encourage men (specifically from a wife/husband perspective, but has many ideas that would be applicable elsewhere), check out this post: 75 Ways to Love Your Man
Let’s Chat:
How do you encourage the men in your life? And which of these tips was your favourite? I’d love to hear in the comments!
love,
Claudine
For more posts like this, read: How to Be More Feminine Today
